"Act like a lady": challenging gender stereotypes at home, in school and on screen

"Go and help your mother in the kitchen." "Boys are better at maths." "She's too loud for a girl." "A woman's education ends in the kitchen."

These lines are so common in Nigeria that many people no longer hear them. They are gender stereotypes: fixed ideas about what men and women are like and what they should do. Each one seems small. Together, they shape the choices girls think they have.

Where stereotypes come from

Home. When girls cook and clean while boys play or study, children learn whose time matters. When only sons are asked about their career plans, daughters notice.

School. Teachers may steer girls away from technical subjects, choose boys for leadership roles, or punish girls more harshly for being assertive.

Faith and community. Sermons, proverbs and jokes can carry strong messages about what a "good woman" is.

Media. Films, music videos, adverts and social media often show women as decoration, as rivals for male attention, or as wives and mothers first. Men are shown as providers and decision makers. Successful, single, or ambitious women are often cast as villains or warnings.

Why it matters

Stereotypes are not just unfair. They have real effects:

• Girls who are told science is "for boys" are less likely to choose it, which narrows their career options.
• Girls praised mainly for looks and obedience learn that their value lies there.
• Boys taught that real men don't show feelings, and that men should control women, are more likely to accept violence.
• Women who break the mould face backlash, which discourages the next girl.

Stereotypes also hurt boys. A boy who wants to cook, nurse or dance, or who cries, may be mocked into hiding who he is.

How to challenge them

Notice them. Start by catching the stereotypes in what you watch, hear and say. Ask: would I say this about a boy?

Share the work at home. Give boys and girls the same chores. Give girls the same study time and encouragement as their brothers.

Watch with a critical eye. When you watch a film or advert with young people, ask them: who has the power in this story? Who is the joke on? Is this how real people live?

Change the examples. Point girls to Nigerian women in engineering, medicine, law, tech, sports, the arts and public life. Point boys to men who share care and respect women as equals.

Use fair language. Avoid sayings that rank one gender above the other. Use people's names and achievements, not just their relationship to a man ("Mrs X, wife of...").

Call it out, calmly. When someone makes a sexist joke or comment, a simple "Why do you say that?" can start a useful conversation.

Support better media. Share, watch and pay for films, books and creators that show women and girls as full people.

What girls can do

• You can like fashion and physics. You can be gentle and ambitious. You don't have to choose.
• Find friends who back your goals.
• When someone says "girls don't...", remember: that is an opinion, not a law.

What teachers can do

Rotate leadership roles fairly. Call on girls and boys equally. Encourage girls in science, maths and tech, and boys in reading and care work. Take action when girls are harassed or mocked.

Stereotypes were learned, so they can be unlearned. Every home, classroom and screen that shows girls a wider set of possibilities makes a difference.